Thursday, July 18, 2013

Entitlement and Birth as a Business

Today on a birth forum that I am a member of, there was an article posted about why Doulas in training (aka, totally inexperienced with actually attending/supporting women) should NOT attend births for free.

You deserve an abundant life so that you have more to offer. Your playing small serves no one. It sends the message that you are unworthy, and that what you have to give is of no value. None – as in, less than a Happy Meal toy. This is not the message befitting of the services we provide.

Ah yes. Even though you have zero practical experience to offer a woman in labor, you deserve an abundant life. YOU DESERVE. Not, "The laboring and birthing woman deserves to have a humble, experienced support person before she pays for one."

Is birth valued so little? What about the very fact that the birthing woman is providing much more to the inexperienced doula, than the inexperienced doula is providing to the birthing woman? Ah, apparently some people over on this forum don't believe this. Doulas, even completely inexperienced ones, have the RIGHT to be paid. After all, gas and childcare are not free.

Except, that's not the problem of the birthing woman. Here's where I'm really going to get opinionated:

IF YOU CANNOT AFFORD THINGS LIKE GAS AND CHILDCARE, IT'S NOT A GOOD TIME TO BECOME A DOULA. 

Chances are, if you are complaining about the cost of gas and childcare in the timeframe in which you are going to be honored with the privilege of serving women in birth...you are likely going to see being a Doula as a business. And many do make it about that. I have seen Doulas charge nearly as much as Midwives. And I am blown away every. Single. Time.

When you are in school, learning your field, you pay the school...the school does not pay you simply because you have gas, childcare, textbook, and supply costs. YOU ARE LEARNING something valuable, that you can offer to the world once you know what you're doing.

As a whole, our culture has lost so much when it comes to the fact that birth is sacred. And I will be honest and say that I abhor the modern Doula. The modern Doula seems to be doing it for one thing, and one thing only: A cool new business venture. I have seen doulas ask for a backup because they're going away for a few days when they have a client who's due. Where the HELL is the fact that the birthing mother hired *them*? Why is there such a lack of acknowledgement that a mother being comfortable with who is in her birthing space is supposed to be absolute priority?!

Birth is not a business. You don't get paid while you learn. And once you do, if it is truly a calling and not a business, you will charge only what is needed and fair, and you will still make exceptions when you can, for families who need it. Don't ever expect to become wealthy from a position that literally means SERVANT.

Again, just my opinion. And not a very popular one, I realize.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.